God Of War Is Doomed!

It looks like my favorite videogame series of all time has been doomed to become a PG-13 insult of an adaptation on the big screen. Brett Ratner, the man who royally f*cked the X-Men franchise up the @$$, has confirmed his involvement with the God Of War movie. I literally yelled out a dozen 'No!s' when I read the news this morning and it was the equivalent of having your lil' hopes taken out of you and then having them stepped on, spat on, and puked on. Brett Ratner is that bad; I have no liking for the man nor would I care if for some reason he never made another movie ever again. Which I doubt will ever happen since the pr*ck loves to poke his nose into everything that's good in this world. By the way, this news comes from UGO. Brett hasn't confirmed his spot in the director's seat but he could be producing...all the same for me.

I don't understand how Sony would even allow someone like Ratner to take one of their most prized possessions and literally turn it into garbage. What calibre does Ratner have to begin with? What has he done so far that proves himself as an acclaimed filmmaker even? Rush Hour movies? Red Dragon? Music videos? For Mariah Carey?! Seriously? You need someone like Zack Snyder / Ridley Scott / Peter Jackson / Darren Aronofsky...someone who can visualize the size and proportion of ancient Greece and bring those breathtaking visuals to the big screen. That's calibre! That takes imagination.

The reason I adore the God Of War series is simply because it's epic in its own form. As CNN quoted "God Of War reminds us why we play videogames in the first place." And it's true. The game is story-driven, there's heavy Greek mythology involved, the hero is in fact an anti-hero who is a complete badass. He's a no-bullsh*t hack n' slash rugged to the core sonoffab*tch. There are Gods and Titans and epic battles with some of mythology's most horrid beasts. What more could a Lord Of The Rings-esque movie need?

*sigh* I guess I'll just have to play the third and final game in all its glory and then watch the franchise get raped on screen. What had the potential to turn into an epic, 10-hour long trilogy will now be nothing more than a PG-13, mediocre, brainless action flick with intentional and lots of unintentional humor, a sinfully sexy lady sidekick / love interest, and a Kratos who cracks witty jokes while trying to come off as badass. Ratner will have some hack who knows nothing about acting to portray Kratos, someone like Nathan Jones or Vin effin' Diesel, while the other characters will be played by former sitcom / TV series actors. The female lead's shoes will be filled by someone who looks like Mariah Carey if not Mariah herself. The DVD will have deleted scenes that make absolutely no sense at all and then he'll churn out a sequel that reeks of even more horsesh*t.

For those of you who don't know, God Of War tells the tale of Kratos, a former Spartan warrior and captain who pledged his allegiance to Ares in return for victory at war. Kratos' path turns into a vengeful one when he is tricked by Ares into slaying his own family. He then vows to destroy Ares and eventually bring all of Olympus down with him.

Thank you, Mr.Ratner, for being a jackass.