Blood & Chocolate | REVIEW

There’s something very cool about werewolves. They’re scary, yes, but are also cool in a way. And please, if any there’s anyone who’s a werewolf and is reading this post, please don’t come after me for saying you’re cool. I like to see you guys on TV, where you can’t leap at me with bloodshot eyes and razor-sharp claws. Let’s just keep it at that, alright, I never said I had any intention of meet any of you in person. Are we clear? Alright? Alright.

Blood & Chocolate is the story of young Vivian, a member of a supernatural race called the loup-garoux, better known as werewolves, who hide their true identity and live as members of the human populace. Her family is murdered in the United States because of their bloodline, yet she survives and is brought back to Bucharest where werewolves are revered rather than shunned. But unlike others in her clan, Vivian sees no sense in the violent, animalistic killings, and her meeting with a graphic novelist only amplifies her doubts towards the ways of her people.

I heard very bad things about Blood & Chocolate. I heard that is has a bad storyline and isn't up to standards, being hyped as a movie from the creators of Underworld and Underworld Evolution. Personally, I like Blood & Chocolate. Seriously. I’ve begun to notice that movies outside the mainstream pipeline really tend to concentrate on powerful storytelling rather than being bombarded with pointless CGI and visual effects. Blood & Chocolate is helmed by Katja von Garnier, a German director whose only other American production is Iron Jawed Angels (2005). She does a wonderful job at composing very beautiful shots. I just like the camera angles and overall cinematography. It may have been produced by the ‘Underworld-guys’, but it’s nowhere near the Underworld budget. Yet it looks beautiful in terms of color and the way the scenes are shot in Bucharest. You have to see it to know what I’m talking about. If there’s one thing I like from these smaller productions that never get a proper mention compared to bigger blockbusters, it’s the cinematography. There’s a lot of focus on the color of things, the way the sunshine bounces off certain objects and the way the lights look at night. It makes a film look very real, very down-to-earth, but it’s not overdone meaning the film is still very pleasing to look at.

What really impressed me was the fact that Katja von Garnier was adamant to use real wolves while filming. She could have easily vied for CG wolves which would have made filming much easier in terms of training the animals and getting them to cooperate. It’s not as easy as one might think. Remember the scene in Transformers where Sam Witwicky is being chased by dogs? Those dogs actually began chasing him, for real! And dogs are supposed to be domestic animals. Back to Blood & Chocolate, yes, real wolves were used instead of 3D ones. And to top that, Katja actually took the bandwagon to Bucharest to shoot this thing. She had other options, but she wanted to shoot in the same location that the movie was based in. And Bucharest is certified eye-candy, or in this case, eye-chocolate.

The downside to this movie is the deviation from the original source material, which in this case is the novel of the same name written by Annete Curtis Klause. It deviates to such an extent that it can hardly be called an adaptation at all. It merely draws inspiration from the novel while changing everything from names to pivotal characteristics and characters' relations to one another. In fact, the main baddie in Blood & Chocolate is somewhat of a good guy when it comes to the novel. There’s just too many differences to list down here, and also listing them down would spoil the movie for you. For those who have read the novel, Blood & Chocolate is a disappointment to say the least. But if you look at it as a standalone film that has not a single connection to the origins, then I’m sure it’s enjoyable. It’s likeable because it isn’t the regular werewolf story. It tells a different tale about the seemingly bloodthirsty creatures. They have traditions and culture and are, at times, more blessed than cursed.

Because of its relatively low budget, Blood & Chocolate doesn’t depend on high-end CGI to deliver its story. That’s why the film looks grounded and realistic. Of course the transformations into werewolves apply some visual effects, but the filmmakers were smart enough to not make it look amateurish. Take a look and you’ll see. Again, it’s not top-notch effects, but it’s nice to see that directors like Katja know how to work around a low budget; something that some directors might perceive as a nightmare.

Not everyone liked Blood & Chocolate, as it bombed at the box-office. It received a shipload of negative feedback and was very poorly accepted by moviegoers. Only a selected bunch seemed to enjoy the movie as much as I did. Sure, I like big-budget productions too and Blood & Chocolate wouldn’t ever make it into my list of Top-20 movies, but it isn’t a complete disaster as some would deem it. It has a good story, believe it or not, and it applies a very nice way to tell it. Ask me and I’d say “go watch it”. I’m not sure if it’s worth buying the DVD, but in this modern era, there are other ways of watching a movie. I’m not saying any more. Give it a peek and you might find that it’s a pretty good piece of work.
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Wrap : Blood & Chocolate gets a 3.3 out of 5.0. Trust me, it’s better than you’d expect it to be. Unless your expectations are way outta’ proportion.

Midnight Express | REVIEW

Here’s a review all the way back from 1978. If you were born in that year you’d be 30 now. I’m about to review Midnight Express, a film that screened three decades ago and received a majority of positive feedback from movielovers and critics alike. It just goes to show that film withstands the test of time and is appreciated long after its era under the limelight. I wasn’t even born in 1978, yet I’ve seen this movie and I like it quite a bit, even though the cinematography is somewhat out of date and there’s no fancy CGI to aid the visual aspects of it. Sometimes it’s just nice to look at ‘real’ more than ‘implan…..*Ehem, cough*.’ I mean, ‘CGI’.

On October 6, 1970, during his departure from Istanbul, US citizen Billy Hayes is arrested by the Turkish police for trying to smuggle several bricks of hashish taped to his body. His prison sentence spans for four years, despite attempts by his father and his lawyers to bail him out. In prison, Billy is subjected to humiliating brutalities including sexual assault and intense physical torture, not to mention having to put up with a prison informant / worker by the name of Rifki (played by Paolo Bonacelli). I’ve seen evil villains, cruel villains, cunning villains, and lousy villains…but never have I seen a villain / bad guy with a face that I’d like to use as a punching bag. I mean this guy is so f*ckin’ annoying that you just wanna’ gut the dumb b**tard! And I don’t mean I wanna’ gut the actor, I’m saying I feel like effin’ kickin’ Rifki’s jewels up into his throat. You know, I really need meditation lessons. Back to the story. Just when Billy thinks he’s home bound, his sentence is extended to a whopping 30 years by the jurisdiction in Ankara. It’s too much for our hero, and he knows now that his only way out is via the ‘midnight express’. That’s prison slang for ‘escape’. But escaping his far from easy.

Midnight Express is a story based upon the book by Billy Hayes of the same name. Billy Hayes’ book, in fact, is based upon his true life experiences while he was locked away in an Istanbul prison. The book was brought onto the big screen by writer Oliver Stone and director Alan Parker. Although it received critical acclaim in terms of storyline and acting, it was bombarded by Billy Hayes himself for being, to a large extent, inaccurate. The movie deviates from the book's accounts of the story, especially in its portrayal of Turks, to such a level that many have criticized the movie version, including Billy Hayes himself. Later both Oliver Stone and Billy Hayes expressed their regret on how Turkish people were portrayed in the movie. There are plenty of man-on-man sexual-assault scenes in the movie which depict the Turkish police as monsters, whereas there is no account of sexual assault in Billy Hayes’ book. Instead, he actually admits to having consensual sex while in prison. I guess the filmmakers really had to improvise on this bit, because it’s only now that the world is opening up to new norms, whereas a protagonist who willingly has sex with other inmates wouldn’t have set well three decades ago. There are, of course, other issues such as the portrayal of the Turks in Midnight Express which caused the film to receive a lot of criticism. Some call it more of a hate-story. Some call it racist. Some, including Billy Hayes, say that the Turks were made to look like barbarians rather than real people, which according to the author is a very harsh, untrue depiction of them.

The film won Academy Awards for Best Music, Original Score (Giorgio Moroder) and Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material from Another Medium (Stone). It was also nominated for Best Actor in a Supporting Role (John Hurt), Best Director, Best Film Editing and Best Picture.

Although Midnight Express is entirely based in Turkey, the movie was almost entirely filmed in Malta after permission to Istanbul was denied. Some scenes were shot in Libya, while the background scenes of Istanbul were shot by a crew pretending to shoot footage for a cigarette commercial. Talk about taking risks, huh?

I’d say Midight Express is a pretty decent film and is a must-watch for people who enjoy rich storytelling and good acting. But for those who just want casual films and nothing heavy, Midnight Express may not be the best thing to put in the DVD player. It’s very heavy with a lot of emotion. You can just feel the weight of the emotion gripping onto the film. It relates to a person’s worst fears; stuck in a foreign prison so far away from family and friends, a foreign culture with alien-like law and order, slapped with a 30-year sentence in a place that is hellish in nature (as depicted in the film, of course). Alan Parker does a great job directing and Brad Davis just blends as Billy Hayes, which makes the movie all the more powerful. Plus, there are supporting roles by Randy Quaid and John Hurt. Although most of the movie is powerful, some of the cinematic energy from back then has changed, turning serious scenes into hilarious ones. The following scene may be a bit spoiler-ish, but I’m going to go ahead and describe it anyway. Billy’s girlfriend comes to visit him in prison after a couple of years, and since there’s no porn in prison, Billy’s more interested in what’s underneath her dress than her face. Instead of getting mushy, Billy gets straight to the point and asks her to unbutton her top. So she does, crying at the state her now extremely horny her boyfriend is in, and actually presses her left breast onto the glass barrier that divides the inmates from the visitors. And our friend Billy is trying his level best to get a hold of it, while she keeps pressing herself onto the glass harder! *Guys, stop touching yourselves, please….for Pete’s sake! This isn’t the erotic fanfiction section, alright?* What I’m trying to get as is that, while this may have been an extremely sexy scene back then, it transcends as effin’ hilarious in the modern day! I couldn’t help myself from laughing and rolling on the floor. I laughed so hard that my ribs were aching and I felt my belly, *cough*, I mean abs, splitting in half! Not only did this scene look too dramatic for its own good, it was also spoofed in Cable Guy, in which Jim Carrey does exactly what Billy’s girlfriend does in this scene! And I watched Cable Guy first so you can imagine my reaction. So yes, you may have a good time watching this and it’s heavy, sure, but this one scene is enough to turn this flick inside out, upside down, and before the end you’ll probably find all the heaviness gone because you’ve laughed your ass off.

Go watch Midnight Express. No, not for the Cable Guy-spoof scene, but for the quality of the film. Old movies have a certain quality that is sometimes missing in modern-day flicks. I’m not saying I don’t like new movies, in fact I love them more, but you can sense the passion in the filmmaker by watching movies like Midnight Express. And although it was way before my time, I enjoyed it. Not a casual watch, for sure. It requires some patience and focus in order to be enjoyed to its fullest potential.
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Wrap : I give Midnight Express a 4.0 out of 5.0. Some of the film’s initial impact is lost over time as the style of filming grows old. It’s still a very nice movie and it is a must-watch for movielovers.

P.S : I guess those of you who like the TV series Prison Break will enjoy Midnight Express. I heard somewhere that Midnight Express is what inspired the hit TV series. Not sure if that's true, searched around but couldn't find confirmaion.

Charlie & The Chocolate Factory | REVIEW

Not everyone has the ability to take a role by the throat and completely own it. Very few do, and Johnny Depp is one of them. The man can take up any role, any character, and blend into it better than a chameleon on the bark of a tree. His acting skills are so good that you never relate one character to another from his other films. You never compare Jack Sparrow to Sweeney Todd, or Edward Scissorhands to Ed Wood, or any of his characters to the very strange Willy Wonka.

Charlie & The Chocolate Factory sees young Charlie Bucket (Freddie Highmore) win a trip (along with other children from around the world) to the mysterious yet amazing Chocolate Factory owned by the one and only Willy Wonka. It seems the factory has reopened after a long age of problems, and Willy Wonka has invited a lucky few (those who get a Golden Ticket in their chocolates) to go on a tour with him at the factory. The factory itself is an amazing place filled with rivers of chocolate and trees made of pure candy. It is everything Charlie had dreamed of; a world away from the harsh burdens of life, the poverty and the limitations it causes. And to his delight, Charlie is given an opportunity to stay at the factory and work for Willy...with one condition. He must abandon his family forever. So what does poor Charlie Bucket do? You'll have to watch and see.

Charlie & The Chocolate Factory doesn't rely much on storyline. It's more eye-candy (no puns intended) that anything else. Tim Burton takes a step back from the dark and deadly, presenting something more colorful, more vivid, and more kid-friendly than anything he's ever done before. But, he is Tim Burton, and you can take away the darkness and the shadows and the horrors, but you can never separate Tim Burton from his first love, Mrs.Weridness. Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, no matter how colorful, is still weirdly disturbing. It's not a bad thing, but it just goes to show that Mr.Burton will always be Mr.Burton.

Like I said, the spotlight here once again goes to Johnny Depp. He completely revolutionizes Willy Wonka without actually destroying the actual character. For those of you who don't know, this film is a remake of the original Willy Wonka which came out in 1971, in which Willy was played by Gene Wilder. Although the original Wonka was also strange and eccentric in his own special way, he was never as disturbing and antisocial as Depp's portrayal of the factory owner. Take note that this was after he played Captain Jack Sparrow, a character that is now a pop-culture icon. Yet he still manages to pull off Willy Wonka so well that you hardly ever relate him to Jack Sparrow in any way. You'll also notice that Helena Bonham Carter is in this movie as Charlie's mother. She will later go on to play Mrs.Lovett in Sweeney Todd alongside Johnny Depp, who plays Todd.

Despite there being not much of anything in Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, it still proves to be a fun watch. A word of warning though, it gets boring at times. There's no real storyline to this thing until more than half the movie is done, and most of the time I kept asking myself, "Why is all this happening? Is there a point to all this?". Of course you envy the fact that we don't have chocolate factories that look like Willy Wonka's where you can bathe in raw chocolate and drink from chocolate rivers, but other than that the movie hardly takes any form or shape until towards the end of the story. Oh, and then there's the Oompa-Loompas, cute little knee-high men who work at the factory. They are not cute, they are not adorable because they look like grown men, but they sure are funny. They're one of the best things this film has to offer. I'm not even sure why I like them so much. Funny looking lil' things.

The score, like most Burton films, has a somewhat sinister ring to it. Nothing evil or deadly, but it's like one of those carnival fun-houses that turn out to be not so fun after all. You know, those horror movies that use jolly things like clowns to scare the living daylight outta' one's rear end. Something like The Nightmare Before Christmas. The music for Charlie & The Chocolate Factory is befitting of the film's theme, yet it's not the most carefree music in the world. There's always some weirdness to it.

I guess Charlie & The Chocolate Factory is a worth a peek for anyone who enjoys Tim Burton's unique view on things. It has his weird touch to it. And it shows. The acting is good from both Depp and Highmore, and the settings are, as I mentioned, eye-candy. It's not all visual effects and high-tech CGI, but it's fun to look at and admire as a good result of strange imagination. Give it a shot, it's not all that bad.
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Wrap : Charlie & The Chocolate Factory gets a 3.8 out of 5.0. I enjoyed it, although some instances almost put me to sleep. Depp is awesome, as always. Johnny Depp has so much talent that if he donated just a portion of it to Steven Seagal, Steven would win as Oscar immediately. Johnny Depp has so much talent that it's contagious. That's why out of work actors want to touch him.

P.S : If Christopher Nolan plans on having The Riddler in the third Batman installment, Johnny Depp would make a kickass Riddler. He has so much talent that he's a walking riddle himself; how could anyone have so much talent? He's that talented, people.

Wind Chill | REVIEW

Seriously, I did not expect a damn thing from this flick. It was one of those things that I watched to let the time pass. But some movies just seem to have surprises in store, and whatya' know, I actually enjoyed Wind Chill. In fact, I was spooked during certain instances.

George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh are among the producers of the project (who knew, huh), while Emily Blunt and Ashton Holmes play the leads. Wanna' know what their names are in Wind Chill? Well, Emily plays 'Girl' and Ashton plays 'Guy'. Yep, that's who they are throughout the flick, just 'guy' and 'girl' and that's their names in the credits. Come to think of it, most of the credits say 'Police Officer', 'Pickup Truck Guy', 'Store keeper' etc, even though some of them are pretty important people in the movie. Here's what you need to know about Wind Chill.

It's a horror movie. It's not a documentary about the Earth's climate shift by Al Gore, just so you know. It's a spooky horror movie that happens during a 'wind chill'. Thank you Captain Obvious. In this film, a young woman from a northeastern college shares a ride home to Delaware for Christmas with a strange young man she meets from their school 'Ride Board'. After a few hours of driving, the guy detours to what he considers a shortcut, Route 606. He almost gets rammed by a truck, dodges the oncoming vehicle, causing his car to crash and break down in the middle of nowhere. It's getting cold, and a wind chill has been reported. That's when the 'fun' begins. Strange figures begin to appear, and it doesn't take a genius to realize that something is horribly wrong. It looks like the wind may bring with it more than just a freezing cold breeze.

I compare Wind Chill to movies like Whisper and 30 Days Of Night in the sense that these flicks really nail the 'claustrophobia' effect. The 'stranded' or 'isolated' angle really works well when it comes to horror movies because it gives you a feeling of 'nowhere to run'. It's like one of those nightmares where you're running in circles, unable to escape whatever it is that's bugging you. Another similarity those films named above is the 'winter-time effect'. It works both ways. In a Christmas movie, winter works as a beautiful, cooling time of the year, whereas when it comes to scaring people's guts out, the winter season delivers the 'cold', 'white', and 'difficult to move around' feel. Get what I mean? It tells the audience that it's not a good time to be stranded somewhere because it's cold, it's dangerous, and it's not easy walking to nearby towns because the snow prevents things like that.

Wind Chill, although simple and relatively low-budget, is creepier than a lot of other horror movies I've seen over recent months. I emphasize the word 'spooky' and not 'scary'. Scary would be 30 Days Of Night, Nightmare On Elm Street, and anything by Stephen King. Scary has the 'gore-factor', the blood, and the gutted guts. Spooky, on the other hand, is not so much the ugly faces and the fangs, instead it focuses more on the eeriness of the surroundings including the type of climate and the locality in which the main characters are in. Wind Chill is a certified spooky movie.

I wouldn't say that the acting in Wind Chill is Oscar-material. It's nothing special, but it's good. Both Emily Blunt and Ashton Holmes do a great job at being frightened people in the middle of No-Man's-Land. To make the film all the more realistic, very little music is used. This, too, is another plus-point for Wind Chill.

I'm not sure what the bad points are in Wind Chill, though. It's far from being perfect, but when you expect nothing from something, I guess the bad points don't really show because you've expected them all along. That being said, Wind Chill is definitely worth your time, and it's a pretty cool (no pun intended) film to watch at night if you're up for some frights. A very mediocre movie that seems to deliver more than it should, or more than it was initially meant to.
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Wrap : Wind Chill gets a 3.6 out of 5.0. Not the best horror movie in the world, but a worthy-watch.

Babel | REVIEW

Before I go on with this review, I want to make it clear that Babel will not appeal to every movie fan, instead it is meant for a selective group of people with a specific taste in film. I'm not discriminating or saying some people are better than others, I'm only saying that movies like Babel are made with a selective group of moviegoers in mind. It's how horror movies are made for horror-fans, and do not appeal for those who dislike the genre. Babel works the same way. It's a very flat, very slow, very artsy film that delivers a powerful yet subtle message. And it's heavy, meaning it isn't a casual watch.

Babel is a story that intersects a number of incidents involving different groups of people all around the world, that somehow interconnect to one another. In a way, Babel draws inspiration from the 'six degrees of separation', a phenomenon that deems the world as a 'small place' in which everyone knows everyone else in one way or the other via their own personal networks. It simply says that everyone's action will cause a reaction, and even though you may not realize it, your actions are being felt by someone, somewhere. Pretty deep, huh? I know, that's why I like Babel a lot. I've heard a lot of people call it 'boring' and 'slow' but I guess not all movies can be fast and furious now, can they?

Babel stars Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett (they will star together again in The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, which looks totally wicked, people. Watch the trailer, the music alone makes it epic!). Don't expect the Oceans trilogy 'Rusty' side of Brad Pitt, don't expect the warrior-style Brad from Troy, don't expect Brad to flirt around ala Mr & Mrs Smith...instead expect Brad to be a very concerned father who's wife (Cate Blanchett) has had a shooting accident in southern Morocco. Needless to say, the duo pull it off really well. Babel has an ensemble cast, meaning Brad and Cate are not center of attraction. Every angle has its own story and every story has its pivotal characters. Every character is important enough to drive the story forward.

The music invented for Babel is breathtaking. It isn't fast-paced or loud, instead it's a perfect fit for the mood of the movie. It managed to bag an Accademy Award for Best Original Score in 2007. In fact, the movie was so well received by critics and guilds alike, that it had been nominated for 7 Accademy Awards. It also won a Golden Globe for Best Film - Drama.

Is Babel a family-flick? Nope. You can pass on the swearing, but you can't pass on the sexual content. And I mean full-frontal Japanese nudity is what's in this flick. Is it fun? Maybe, depends on your taste and what you'd expect from a movie. Is it something you can watch at any given time? Nope. Babel works well when you have time on your hands, your mind isn't pre-occupied, and there's some peace and quiet around. Is it worth that amount of time? Sure as heck, yeah. As I said, Babel caters to a certain group of moviegoers. If you're at home with your girlfriend and what you need is that casual movie for you and her to sip Coke and eat popcorn to, Babel's not the movie to slip into the player. And girls, if you're home alone with that guy of your dreams and you need a movie to play, Babel's not the right one. In fact, no movie is the right one for that situation. He's too busy fantasizing about the possibilities of the 'home alone' advantage to focus on anything else.

All in all, Babel is a movie that's worth a watch. If you favor good storylines, Babel will deliver well to your expectations. It takes a lot of effort to pen a story that diverts into so many different sub-stories. Director Alejandro González Iñárritu really did a good job on this one. The multi-narrative drama completes González Iñárritu's "death trilogy," which also consists of Amores Perros and 21 Grams. Allocate some time to give this piece a peek and you'll see that good storytelling always shows.
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Wrap : Babel gets 4.6 out of 5.0 for being a really interesting tale. It has a dedicated cast, a fantastic score, and is a wonderful thought-provoking movie on a whole.

Batman : Mask Of The Phantasm | REVIEW

I've loved comics and superheroes ever since I was a lil' kid. No doubt it was Sesame Street and Sing Along Songs in the first 2-3 years, but at age 5 I had my first glimpse of superheroes in the form of Thundercats! I still love that uber-fantastic sword! Needless to say, I got myself engrossed in things like X-Men : The Animated Series and Captain Planet, collecting everything from VHS tapes to the latest action figures of Wolverine and Cyclops. But to date, I'd say my all-time favorite animated series has got to be Batman : The Animated Series. And I've been counting down the days to The Dark Knight ever since Batman Begins ended. So when Warner decided to put an animated film on the big screen way back in 1993 that derived from Batman : TAS, I was overjoyed! The only thing I hate about Batman though, is that pesky sidekick of his, Robin! What's with the tight spandex miniskirt and the ball-crunching, butt-hugging shorts? What's with the ultradork voice and the nerdy hairdo? What's with the f*ckin' name?! "Holy cow, Batman, I look like a fruitcake!". Anyway.....

...Batman : Mask Of The Phantasm was the only Batman animated feature to have had a theatrical release. The movie is incredible. And I'm not saying this because I'm a Bat-fan, but because it really surpasses all expectations from an animated presentation. If you've watched the animated TV series, then you know how dark and gloomy it can get, drawing inspiration directly from Tim Burton's Batman. In fact, some critics have stated that Mask Of The Phantasm has a better storyline than Batman and Batman Returns put together! Speaking of storylines, here's what you need to know...

Batman : Mask Of The Phantasm dwells deep into the mind of billionaire Bruce Wayne and his alter ego, Batman. During a conference of crime bosses held in a Gotham City skyscraper, gangster Chuckie Sol is killed when a mysterious cloaked figure bursts in on the meeting. Batman is blamed for the death. The 'dark detective' must now seek the one responsible, and by doing so, will uncover truths that he may find too hard to handle.

Although The Joker and the titular 'phantasm' are important points in the movie, the makers suggest that Bruce Wayne's past is the pivotal theme that acts like an engine to Mask Of The Phantasm. For the first time, fans get to see (from an animated point of view), Bruce Wayne's past and how he embraces an abnormal life as Gotham's silent savior. Kevin Conroy lends his voice as Batman, as he does most of the time, while Mark Hamill delivers another stunning voiceover for The Joker; a voice we've all grown accustomed to as the Joker voice.

The soundtrack to this flick is beautiful. It isn't by Danny Elfman who composed the original Batman theme, instead it's by Shirley Walker, who says that her compositions for Mask Of The Phantasm are her favorite so far. The music emphasizes the turmoil in Gotham City and the troubles the film's main characters have to undergo. The soundtrack helps the film's darkish thematic value. It's the basic Batman animated series theme with some modifications and enhancements here and there.

What's awesome about this animated movie is that it's not a kids-exclusive thing. It's arguably one of the darkest animated features ever marketed based on a kid-friendly superhero, much like The Dark Knight isn't marketed towards children below 12 due to disturbing instances with The Joker. I watched Mask Of The Phantasm way back in 1993 and remember craving the VHS ever since. I never found it, but almost a decade later I watched it again on Cartoon Network, and still loved it the same...not for the nostalgic value, but because it really is a kickass movie. It has a heavy storyline that integrates emotional conflicts, the thirst for revenge, justice, and making sacrifices. Fans get to see the pain and internal crisis that Bruce Wayne has to go through in order to become the Batman; something you don't see in regular cartoons. Plus (and how cool is this), there's actually Film Noir in Mask Of The Phantasm! And it's not even film, baby! These guys had effin' lighting techniques in a film that didn't even use real lights! They had artsy film-esque lighting in a cartoon!

Mask Of The Phantasm didn't make much at the box-office and the filmmakers blamed Warner Bros. for poor marketing. The movie was only promoted a couple of months before the theatrical release, failing to set awareness among the public. It didn't rake in heaps of cash, but it did surpass its budget of USD6million. The homevideo release (VHS, VCD, DVD), on the other hand, managed to bring in the money and settle for the film's failure on the big screen. Quality-wise, though, the film did very well and was nominated for an Annie Award for Best Animated Feature alongside The Lion King and The Nightmare Before Christmas. Unfortunately for the Bat, Simba bagged the gold instead. Batman : Mask Of The Phantasm is a timeless classic that probably tells the story of Batman how it's meant to be told. Some may argue that's it's too gloomy and heavy for an animated story, but that's exactly how I like it. The film was followed by Batman & Mr.Freeze : SubZero, which made it straight-to-DVD.
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Wrap : Mask Of The Phantasm gets a whopping 4.6 out of 5.0. It's a must-see for any Batman enthusiast. Actually, Batman enthusiasts would have probably seen it already. It's a good animated feature for anyone who doesn't mind dark and heavy storytelling. It isn't too gory ala Spawn The Animated Series, but it's also not too light either. If you've missed this, please pick it up on DVD. It's worth the time and money, plus it features a very kickass protagonist...the Batman. Now, put a smile on that face, and we're off to The Dark Knight in less than a effin' month!

R.I.P George Carlin

It's been a sad, sad week for Hollywood. Not only did we get the tragic news of Stan Winston's death last week, we now know that George Carlin has passed due to heart failure at age 71. Mr.Carlin's acting is seen in movies like BILL AND TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURES, DOGMA and JERSEY GIRL, but he was most known for his comedic skills. George Carlin was a genius at his craft, always renewing his sense of humor and delivering contemporary comedy. George Carlin was also the first ever host of Saturday Night Live.

Rest In Peace, George Carlin.

Grandma's Boy | REVIEW

Produced by Adam Sandler's company, 'Happy Madison', Grandma's Boy stars Allen Covert who is also a co-writer of the film, Nick Swardson, Jonah Hill, and Doris Roberts, with cameos by Rob Schneider, David Spade, and pro-wrestler Kevin Nash. It tells the story of a 35-year old video game tester, Alex (Allen Covert), who gets kicked out of his house for not paying the rent, and desperately needs a place to stay while trying to finish a game that he's been developing in private for years. The only place he can find is his grandma's house, which also accommodates two other old women. That's basically all you need to know about Grandma's Boy. It doesn't rely much on the storyline, similar to all comedies in this genre, instead depends on its weird and sometimes wacky sense of humor.

I wouldn't rate Grandma's Boy as the funniest movie in town, but it's definitely worth a watch. It isn't Superbad-humor, but it's crazily, weirdly, funny. It's enjoyable, to say the least. I don't really like Doris Roberts, not even when she was in Everybody Loves Raymond. She fits well with Disney Channel Original Movies and nothing else. For some reason she makes movies look low-budget. Hey, it's just my opinion, people.

Grandma's Boy didn't do well ratings-wise, but it developed a cult-following due to the heavy stoner / slacker influence in the film. And yes, when I say heavy I mean 'heavy as Randy Jackson back in 2002'...that kind of heavy. The film is packed with Allen Covert-smoking-pot and stoning scenes. It literally feeds off these scenes for the movie to progress. Huge twists in the storyline take place because of these stoning scenes!

There really isn't much to say about Grandma's Boy other than it's a funny movie with lots of laughs to offer and it's worth a peek, at least. Oh, and kids, it's smacked with a solid 'Restricted' sign, alright...so if you're gonna' watch this, make sure you do it in private and not display it on the family TV during a birthday party in which your uncles, aunties, grandparents, and long lost cousins are present...only to find that the movie on TV has a topless woman with large *ehem* assets, swearing, cussing, stoning, and more swearing. Unless your family consists mostly of rockstars and are somehow related to Hugh Heffner, I'd say this works fine as a 'watch-on-PC' movie, alright?
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Wrap : Grandma's Boy gets a 3.4 out of 5.0. It's worth your time and it's funny while it lasts. Nice stuff.

10,000 B.C | REVIEW

10,000 years before Christ, a tribe called the Yaghal made their living by hunting mammoths. Not only did it feed them, it also symbolised power and the coming of age, the time when boys turned into men. It's so much easier to determine coming of age via the growth of pubic hair plus the growth of other things, but I guess in a time when cable television, porn, and the Internet was unheard of, people had all the time in the world to run after overgrown hairy elephants. Anyway, a young warrior of the tribe named D'Leh (Steven Strait) has been in love with Evolet (Camilla Belle) (the prophesied savior of the dying Yaghal tribe) ever since they were children, and earns her love by slaying a mammoth. Unfortunately for him, a mysterious tribe invades the Yaghal village and kidnaps Evolet. D'Leh must take a small group of trusted hunters with him into paths unknown in order to bring Evolet back...for the Yaghal's sake and his own.

Sounds like a pretty amazing story, eh? Not to mention that Roland Emmerich is the man behind this movie. Quite frankly, I enjoyed Godzilla and Day After Tomorrow despite their negative reviews. Godzilla was a flick I watched over and over again because I loved it! Day After Tomorrow was well-worth my time. But 10,000 B.C? If I were rude I'd call it 'a joke'. But in better terms, I'd say it's the definition of a mediocre pop-corn movie. It's the kind of movie that pop-corn was invented for. There's no logic to it, the acting is screwed up, and it works better as CGI eye-candy than a real movie. In fact, even the CGI wasn't fantastic. It was a good effort, but not Transformers-level-realistic. The animals looked too fluid-ish and weightless, especially the mammoths. Instead of thumping and looking heavy they were practically bouncing around like bunnies in some scenes. I normally don't dissect a movie while I'm watching it because it ruins the experience, but awkward visuals and bad CGI always seem to catch my eye. Movies like Jurassic Park and War Of The Worlds stand the test of time, looking natural and hyper-realistic for decades after their cinematic release, but movies like 10,000B.C look fake-ish the day they debut on a big screen.

Steve Strait and Camilla Belle do a effin' awful job as D'Leh and Evolet. I'd say Camilla did borderline-fine, but Steve is the worst excuse for a prehistoric hunter ever! A huge downside to this movie is the use of the English language. It's ten millenniums before Jesus Christ was born, it's when Sabretooth tigers and woolly mammoths and giant meat-eating birds roamed the earth, but for some reason England exists and the Yaghal speak perfect English. To top things, some of them have Indian-ish accents. There's a kid in the movie that has an Indian accent for some reason. But guess what, not everyone speaks English. On their quest for Evolet, D'Leh and his companions run into other tribes that speak in ancient tongue. But fortunately for D'Leh, the other tribe's chief also speaks the Yaghal language...English! Wha...? I understand that the Yaghal-talk is probably translated for the audience because the Yaghal are the center characters. But what's with the accents? You're probably thinking, "Movies like 300 are in English, and they were Greek, how did they learn the language?" 300 was based on a comic book. And the use of English works when everyone speaks it and the use of complex language has already been developed. 'Suspension of disbelief' is used to convince the audience so that they don't take much notice. In cases like 10,000B.C, the use of English is awkward since other tribes speak differently. After movies like Apocalypto and Passion Of The Christ have taken the liberty to use olden-day language throughout the film, movies like 10,000 B.C just don't cut it anymore.

Camilla Belle looks too damn good in this movie. Her attire looks neat, she's spotless, and she has green eyes. Every other woman in the tribe looks hagged with patches of mud here and there, whereas Evolet seems to have found L'Oréal, a boutique, and hair saloons...all engineered for caveladies of course. Plus, in some instances, she has a European accent. British, even.

I remember reading a critic's note that said, "10,000B.C is historically less accurate than the Flinstones." It's exaggerated, yes, but either you make a sci-fi movie that doesn't care about common sense or logic ala The Flinstones, or you make something that's to a large extent believable. 10,000B.C lingers in the middle as something that wants to be historically correct, but also desperately needs heavy CGI and weird creatures to help sell the film.

Despite what I've said about this movie, it does have one good feature; fun. Like I said, 10,000B.C is the definition of a pop-corn film. Complete disregard for logic, horrible acting, and mediocre CGI that was hyped beyond proportion to market this mess. Yet, watching it was fun. It's one of those action-adventure movies where you're not supposed to turn your brain on, and only then will you enjoy the film to its utmost potential. I didn't like 10,000 B.C as a movie. Instead, I liked it as a way to spend 2-hours of my excess time at the local cinema. It wasn't even the summer-rush then, so who cares, right?
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Wrap : I give 10,000B.C 3.0 out of 5.0. It's watchable, as I said. Just don't bother about anything else and watch it for the storytelling, and you probably won't regret it. Don't say I didn't warn ya'.
P.S : Another good part about 10,000B.C: Omar Sharif does narration.

March Of The Penguins | REVIEW

March Of The Penguins isn't really a film (technically), but it's a really nice documentary that relies on basic storytelling. It was, of course, widely released in cinemas all over the world and received overwhelming positive feedback from moviegoers and critics alike. This documentary also won the Academy Award for Best Documentary in 2005 because of the amazing efforts that were taken to go on location and shoot this baby. And when I say 'location' I mean the hardest place to get to with the most deadly of landscapes added to the harshest of weather conditions. No, penguins do not live in Afghanistan...I was talking about Antarctica!

Directed by Luc Jaquet and originally a French language nature documentary, March Of The Penguins depicts the yearly walk of the emperor penguins from their natural 'homes' to the mating ground, which is sometimes located nearly 100-kilometers away due to the shifting of the icy plains. The penguins walk and endure the winter cold to get to their birthplace, which will now act as their mating ground. The penguins flirt around a bit, find the right one and then get some action going! It's like their prom night, only the climate can kill you and it's open-air. When I say 'penguins' I mean literally thousands of them, all marching together towards the same mating spot. Talk about a major orgy, right? But the male penguins select just one female, and the duo stick together as a family throughout the winter. The amazing feat here is the back and forth marching of the male and female penguins across 100km of winter-stricken plains of ice in order to gather food for their chicks. It's really awe-inspiring to see how this species of bird has continuously done this for hundreds of generations just to make sure that their race carries on. What's unexplainable is how they manage to find the exact mating spot even though the plains change and lands are drastically shifted over the seasons. It's as though they have an internal compass.

'Survival' is a basic theme that can be derived from March Of The Penguins. The emperor penguins struggle against merciless blizzards and fierce storms, and although some die from starvation and fatigue, thousands make it to the intended destination. 'Love' is another important value in this documentary. But there are other, more subtle messages encrypted within this work of art, all of which propelled it to an award-winning status. There are messages in there that stress 'the importance of family', 'unity', and 'one-sexual partner per person'. It even stresses 'female rights', in a big way, since the Mum-penguin is the one who goes back to hunt and gather food while Dad's protecting the egg. It's pretty much an artsy-documentary that compares itself to our modern society in more ways than one.

The best way to watch March Of The Penguins would be on a cinema-screen. The scenery is breathtaking and the camera work is really good. It takes effin' guts to actually go out to a place like Antarctica and make a documentary. Imagine how much research was conducted before the shoot and how many initial trips were made before the green light was given. Those aren't the hardest parts, though. The toughest challenge for these filmmakers come in the form of an unforgiving climate that can bring about a very slow, white death. It's a deadly but beautiful place. It's frightening. The next best way to watch March Of The Penguins would be on a plasma, high-definition TV, via a Blu-Ray Disc. I don't own one, but I've seen it and it rocks, dudes and dudettes! Most of the beauty of this thing is lost when watched on standard definition sets and / or ordinary 4:3 TVs. That's the sad truth.

The original version is in French (which was dubbed as though the penguins were the ones telling the story) but the worldwide release has Morgan Freeman doing the narration. Morgan 'f*ckin' Freeman, baby! How cool is that, right? This guy has a feel to his voice, I'm not quite sure what the word is for it, but it works. That's probably why they made him play God in Bruce / Evan Almighty. It's the man's voice. It sounds all-and-ever-knowing...or something like that. That's why he narrates for War Of The Worlds, even. It's either this guy or James "I am your father, CNN' Earl Jones. Awesome voices!
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Wrap : March Of The Penguins scores a 4.7 out of 5.0. Don't compare these ratings to your favorite films and say, "What the Happy F**k?! Penguins scored better than Iron Man?!" No, penguins did not score more than every one's favorite armored billionaire. This one's a documentary and shouldn't be compared to commercial movies. It gets a strong 'wrap' because it takes balls to go out to effin' Antarctica and shoot marching penguins in temperatures like -80degrees. Not easy, folks. The scenery is beautiful, the values are simple. You may not be a documentary person, but if you enjoy good shots and excellent camera work, March of The Penguins is a must-see.

Hitman | REVIEW

I enjoy movies with sequels for some reason. I enjoy trilogies and continuations. Not only for movies, but for video games as well. So basically, I like the Hitman videogame series. Granted, I haven't played all of em', and I've grown more attached to games like God Of War and Assassin's Creed, but Hitman is one heckoffa' successful series, and if you're a gamer then you already know that.

I guess all great games will transcend into major motion pictures one day, and Hitman's day came sooner than later. Unfortunately though, the movie doesn't live up to the game and for me it failed as a film altogether. It's beautiful in terms of cinematography and visual effects, but those aspects fail to save the movie on a whole. Lets take a look at what sucked, but before that, here's what you need to know.

Hitman is the story if Agent 47 (Timothy Olyphant), an assassin that has been trained in the field ever since he was a child, technically invisible to the government yet available for hire by those who need him to do their 'deeds'. The problem? Someone's trying to fix the good Agent up, in other words, frame him for something that he did not do. The good part? Fate hands him this hot Russian chick to tag along with. The awesome part? She starts doing things that would be snipped at local theaters by the censorship board.

Xavier Gens (director) and the guys behind Hitman did a pretty sweet job by creating the look and feel of the film. The visuals are well done and so is the color / tonal value of the entire film. There's a theme to it that stays true to the videogames. That's probably the best part about Hitman (the movie). The story is okay. Just okay, as in a mediocre story. It's watchable and that's it. There's a basic story arc and nothing more. The film seems dry, the bad acting shows, and the plot is too confusing for its own good. There are some films that integrate a very confusing plot, but at the end of the day everything is resolved and there's a happy audience. Hitman fails to deliver a good story let alone send home a happy audience. Timothy Olyphant isn't a complete disaster but there's something about him that doesn't allow the man to play Agent 47. Maybe he looks too young or his acting is weak, I'm not sure, but it's just hard to digest Olyphant as Agent 47.

Now, I'm not one to complain about Russian chicks revealing a lil' too much, but the sexuality in this movie seems completely out of place. There has to be a reason for nudity and a reason to initiate a sex-scene or even something close to sexual. Throughout the flick there's pointless sexual references and needless teasing, as though the movie was shouting out, "Hey, guys there's a naked Russian babe in this movie so give us your f*ckin' money and pay for those damn DVDs!" I mean if we needed pointless nudity / sex scenes we'd just log on to the Internet, right? Right? You'd have to watch the movie to see what I mean. The sexual teasing and dry references that try to sound naughty or kinky or whatnot are annoying, actually. For instance, here's a girl who's been a sex-slave for God knows how long, having been abused as in whipped and tortured, yet she's all hot for Agent 47? What happened to effin' trauma? Did 'emotional distress' never happen? One moment she's crying and the next she wants to hump a bald stranger that carries an arsenal in his briefcase? Wha..?!

One thing I do like about Hitman, though, are those very artistic posters. Not only do they look good, they also keep the thematic value of the game intact. My favorite poster, obviously, is the one you see on your top-left. I especially like the vibrant colors and the contrast the orange creates against the black background. Very nice. But, saying that my favorite part about a movie is its marketing isn't saying much at all, in fact, it's saying that the movie which has moving pictures is worse than a still image.

Hitman did financially well at the box-office thanks to its proper marketing and established fanbase. Still, critics and hardcore fans deemed the movie a mess and overall failure. As I said... weak, dry, confusing stories. I remember comparing Hitman to the Bourne trilogy while I was watching it. I somewhat realized that Hitman was trying to be as sleek and smart as the Bourne films, only it wasn't working well for Hitman. The sleekness doesn't seem too sleek and the movie isn't very smart. It's desperately looking for ways to twist things and confuse you and get you all engrossed but instead it just manages to confuse so much that in the end nothing seems to make much sense. Even the violence in this movie is random and just berserk! There has to be a method to madness ala The Incredible Hulk, 300, Bourne Trilogy etc; something that's violent yet visible and meaningful...not just random gunshots and going crazy with a machine gun and splitting heads open. There is a lot of violence in Hitman but none of it is attractive.

I smell sequels for this movie. Sequels that will be bombarded with explosions and more violent fight scenes. I doubt the sequels will do the game any justice either.
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Wrap : Hitman gets a 3.0 out of 5.0 for being a watchable flick. There's nothing to say about the acting, nothing about the score, nothing about anything else in the movie. It's just watchable, and probably fun for some, the first time around. I doubt many will wanna' watch this thing again. It's very forgettable and it'll fade away as one of those videogame-movies that didn't make it. Now...bring on an effin' God Of War movie, someone! And do it right, for Pete's sake!

300 | REVIEW

"This is blasphemy! This is madness!", protests the Persian messenger. "Madness?" asks Leonidas. "This...is...SPARTA!"

Violence, war, brutality, bloodlust, gore, and a very hot Queen Gorgo (Lena Heady). It's not intellectual, but it sure as hell looks effin' sweet! 300 is an epic retelling of the Battle Of Thermopylae through the eyes of Frank Miller and director Zack Snyder. It tells the tale of King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and how he defends his beloved Sparta against a monstrous Persian army, with only 300 brave Spartan soldiers on his side.

It's pretty obvious that this review is going to favor 300. There's so little that's not right in the film that it's hard not to adore it. From the moment the first trailer went online, millions were awestruck by the beauty of what they saw. Epic scenarios and vibrant yet thematic colors that made 300 look different and unique from other movies. And from that moment on, lines like "This is Sparta" and "Tonight We Dine In Hell" became some of the most recognizable quotes in film history. Fans of Frank Miller's original comic of the same name were thrilled to see how the pages of the comic book had transcended onto the big screen, and moreover, how the feel and color scheme of the graphic novel was kept intact throughout the movie.

300 is effin' eye-candy. The movie was shot completely using bluescreen technology, including a bluescreen tank full of water that was used for the Oracle scene. This allowed Zack Snyder to tweak with backgrounds and scenery, making them as epic as he wanted them to look. It also enabled accurate size scaling in the case of the Persian King Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro), who in the movie is at least 8-feet tall. Frank Miller, creator of the graphic novel, kept a close eye on the production, making sure the characters and story arc were protected and were not diminished during their transition to the silver screen. All in all, their hard work pulled off and 300 became in instant success, breaking box-office records and setting the standards for violence in a war flick. The fantastic choreography of the fight scenes had fans amazed and at the edge of their seats.

Speaking of hard work, Gerard Butler performs his own stunts in 300, and actually took to effort to 'buff-up' for this movie. The guy was born to be Leonidas, and has turned the character into a pop-culture icon with a cult-like following, not to mention one of the biggest bad-asses in film history. He's brutal, he's violent, he's bad and merciless but hey, he's the f**kin' hero, baby! Sometimes people wanna' see a hero that does the right thing and abides by moral values. But sometimes, we just wanna' see the good guys kick ass and tear bad guys apart! It's weird that no matter how much we've evolved and matured as a civilized species, as humans we always find entertainment in violence. That's why the gladiators were such a big deal in ancient Rome. That's why wrestling became a TV-ratings phenomenon. And that's why flicks like 300 draw in the masses; because they promise us a hero that sheds blood and shows no mercy! And I'm not sure if the girls were attracted to the violence, but I'm sure three-hundred barely-clad men with f'n eight-packs and python-sized biceps must be really hard to resist. It's pure eye-candy to you, ain't it, ladies? We see right through you, yes we do. You and your innocent eyes. Bleh!

I'd say the only downside to 300 was the lack of an actual story. There's everything from good acting to excellent CGI to beautifully done landscaping, but no real story. 300 basically relies on one subtitle; the battle for Sparta against a massive Persian army. That's all there is to it. It sometimes feels too simple. There are other elements to it like women's rights in ancient times and the proverbial 'David vs. Goliath' stuff, but it lacks a compelling story that grows with the movie. From start to finish, it's all about one battle and nothing else. Unfortunately, this causes a chain reaction which allows the movie to stretch to a maximum of 2-hours, which is (in my opinion) a short runtime for a war story. Hey, I'd enjoy 300 if it was 3 whole hours, I wouldn't mind a runtime like that! Of course, this is barely noticeable because of all the intense fight scenes, but those who prefer a heavy story upon everything else may find it hard to enjoy 300.

Tyler Bates handled the score for 300 and seriously, the man is good at what he does. I've known him from movies such as See No Evil, which doesn't have a noticeably impressive soundtrack, but Mr.Bates really gets to show off his composing skills in this one. Plus, 'Just Like You Imagined' by Nine Inch Nails is an awesome addition to the film's soundtrack and was a perfect fit for the trailers. It may not meet Lord Of The Rings-standards, but it does an amazing job nonetheless.

300 has received critical acclaim and is seemingly 'the most accurate comic-to-film adaptation so far'. Despite its success, the movie has had its heat from a large number of people who accuse the film of being inaccurate and racist towards the ancient Persians. I'd like to clear something up here. You have to understand that 300 is not a biopic or a history lesson therefore it's far from being accurate. It's not even considered a true story, only a story based on an actual historical battle in Greece. It is, instead, a retelling of the ancient battle via the eyes and imagination of Frank Miller. He never said it would be accurate and he never meant for it to be. He just knew about the tale and decided to re-imagine it onto the pages of a graphic novel. I'm sure the real Spartans wore full-metal armor, and Xerxes was never really that tall, but Frank Miller doesn't do history text books, he creates comics. And 300 was never really meant to make the Persians look bad or evil or barbaric. There has to be a good guy, and there has to be a bad guy. Unless you're Clint Eastwood and can afford to shoot two angles ala Letters From Iwo Jima and Flags Of Our Fathers, you have to pick just one good guy. The essence to the story of 300 is the emphasis on bravery and patriotism. Leonidas just had to be the good guy, there's no other way to tell the story!
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Wrap : 300 gets a really nice 4.7 out of 5.0. It's visually stunning and extremely well-done. Although it's all bluescreen, the scenery fits in well with the movie and never looks fake-ish...only very artistic. The fight scenes are extraordinary and have set a new benchmark for war epics, because the violence is depicted and choreographed so well that the brutality of the Spartans are actually seen step by step, so to speak. Even the score is spot-on. For those who missed this on the big screen, it really is a big loss. But, a DVD or Blu-Ray would do fine and if you love good movies then 300 is a must-watch. It may not be a family-flick, but it's something that's not to be missed.

R.I.P Stan Winston

Special effects pioneer and film director Stan Winston has passed away after suffering for seven years with multiple myeloma. He was 62. He has left Hollywood and the world with timeless memories via the magic that he had created using special effects and concept design as only he knew how. Stan Winston had worked on many blockbusters such as The Terminator, the Jurassic Park Trilogy, Batman Returns, and his most recent work is portrayed in the 2008 summer phenomenon, Iron Man. It seems that his next project was meant to be Jurassic Park IV. Hollywood has lost a true master of his field. His work will truly be missed.

Rest In Peace, Stan Winston.

Michael Jackson's GHOSTS | REVIEW

The term 'rise & fall' is used loosely these days. It seems Britney Spears had her rise and eventual fall. But her 'fall' pales in comparison to that of Michael Jackson's. The once mighty King Of Pop, adored by millions for his uncanny sense of music, has now been reduced to a has-been because of certain 'mistakes' which he may or may not have committed. Sad, isn't it? The first-ever cassette that I purchased when I was a little kid was Jackson's Dangerous, which turned me into a long-time fan who eventually picked up his movies on VHS and other newer albums were soon added to my collection. And yes, I tend to ignore the man behind the superstar and I still say his music is amazing. And hey, all you heavymetal headbangers, I'm sure you have those Backstreet Boys albums lying in a box somewhere so don't give me the 'cringe'. I love heavymetal now, yes, but there was a time when Michael Jackson was king of all music. Enough about me, on to the review.

I remember watching Michael Jackson's GHOSTS nearly a decade ago and I loved it mainly because I was a fan. I watched it again recently and found that it's one of the corniest movies ever, similar to Moonwalker. GHOSTS is basically a very long music video, or rather, a bunch of music videos put together as a 40-minute movie. GHOSTS is the story of a Maestro (Michael Jackson) with supernatural powers who is being chased out of a small town by its mayor. The townspeople are also enraged that the Maestro is so fond of their children and invites them to his mansion on a regular basis. The townsfolk are invited inside and 'treated' to a series of dance routines by the Maestro and his 'family' of ghouls. All the featured songs were taken off Jackson's HIStory and Blood On The Dance Floor albums. The movie is also the film debut of Mos Def.

GHOSTS is basically Thriller without the babe. Instead of bringing up the dead to haunt his girlfriend, Jackson brings up the dead to haunt an angry mob that want to get rid of him and his beloved spookies. I'm not sure what Jackson's fascination is with all things scary, but the guy seems to have a passion for it. Also, GHOSTS is modernized in the sense that there's not much of the zip-pulling, the chest rubbing, the touching, the erotic moans etc. It's more of a modern-Michael dance collage that fits well for MJ fans. The make-up is good, as always, which means that the ghouls looks quite frightening. Then there's the whole 'I'm Michael Jackson, I'm cool, and I have supernatural powers' feel to the movie...which is also good for Jackson fans.

The comedy in this movie is comical and slapstick. No surprise there. And while Thriller was more of a homage to monster-movies of the past, GHOSTS is more of an abstract self-commentary by Michael Jackson about his own life and career. A Maestro, himself, living amongst people who don't understand and always seem to find problems with him even though he's only inviting their children into his home with good intentions at heart. It basically says 'don't judge a book by it's damn cover' in a different way.

Whatever the sub-meaning may be to this movie, it's meant strictly for Michael Jackson fans. Sadly, it was a desperate attempt to reignite the phenomenon that was 'Thriller', and although it was attached to certain screenings of horror movies back in 1997, it hardly made a name for itself on VHS. You'll probably never find this easily be it on any format, so you'll just have to find other means to watch this if you really want to. Again, it has a number of songs that are nice to listen to, but on a whole, the film tanked on an epic level. It's made specifically for those who like or once liked the King of Pop, because it doesn't do any good as a standalone movie with a plot of its own.
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Wrap : GHOSTS gets a 2.0 out of 5.0. It's worth a peek if you once enjoyed MJ's music, but overall, it's nothing good.

Whisper | REVIEW

"The devil's work is child's play." The slogan alone gives the movie a striking resemblance to The Omen, in which the devil's energy is manifested into a child who is born unto this earth to initiate the end of days. In rough terms, he's here to let all hell break loose. Whisper, however, centers around an eerie kid who's not so much interested in dominating the world, instead finds happiness in bringing hell to his kidnappers. Here's the non-spoilerish summary.

Max (Josh Holloway), a convicted felon, and his fiancee Roxanne (Sarah Wayne Callies) are contacted by an absent mastermind to group-up with a pair of strangers and commit the kidnapping of a young boy, David (Blake Woodruff), the son to one of the richest women in the state. The group keep the boy in a cabin deep in the woods and wait for ransom instructions. The boy, however, grows quite close to Roxanne, yet begins to cause distress amongst the other group members. As days go by, everyone realizes that there's more than meets the eye with this kid...he's actually Optimus Prime. Get it? More than meets the eye? Yeah? No? *Sigh*. I'm not sure if these kidnappers have watched The Omen or not but if it were me, I'd run at the first sight of a weird, extremely reserved kid who gets a boner by killing / dissecting birds and makes wolves run away like lil' puppies by just looking at them. Jeez....some people just don't get a clue, do they?

Whisper released after the summer-rush of 2007, and that's probably why I went to see it; because nothing good was showing. Hey, I'm not saying it's a bad movie. I'm just saying that the first time I knew of its existence was when I saw the poster an hour before I actually watched the movie. It was a spontaneous thing. Surprisingly, though, I liked what I saw and I still remember most of the movie today, almost 7 months later. Flicks like these normally fade off one's memory faster than Tokyo Drift's lifespan on the big screen. Very!

Now, I know many of you will say that this is a rip-off the Omen remake that came out in 2006. Agreed, it may have drawn inspiration from The Omen and was probably banking off the success of films that are 'end of world' related. But the truth is, apart from little kids having the devil in them or being the devil itself, Whisper has a somewhat original storyline and to me it was entertaining from start to finish. It isn't the scariest film ever, but neither is it boring. Blake Woodruff does a good job at being a weirdo kid, just like Sarah Wayne Callies does a great job at being hot. Oh, and of course there's Josh Holloway who looks like he'd just been picked up from LOST island and placed in this movie. He talks the same, dresses the same, heck I couldn't even remember his name by the end of the movie because I kept calling him 'Sawyer'. Nevertheless, he's a nice addition to the film. They should get this guy to play Gambit, don't you think?

All of the above being said, Whisper is not a movie I'd pick up on DVD. It's not that great. It's entertaining, it has its scares, jumps, and bumps, but it's just not a great movie. There's eeriness in there, there's mediocre acting, and the gang being isolated in a cabin does a fantastic job at giving the audience a sense of claustrophobia; someplace that's hard to escape from. Still, it's not a movie I'd watch more than twice unless I've completely forgotten how the story goes. It's one of those flicks that only works well the first time around, y'know? Rent it if you could. And did you know that the Greek God Of War is known as 'Ares'? Yeah, Ares. Oh, and if you wired a lemon to something, it would be known as a limewire. Hey, you could even name it a 'LimeWire'. Cool, huh? Those were just some nifty knowledge-bits that I like to give out now and then.
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Wrap : Whisper gets a 3.0 out of 5.0. I expected nothing from this movie but in the end I was entertained, I had a nice time watching it, and it was a fun movie in a season when most of what we get are movies centered around Santa Claus or comedies in which some guy (normally Tim Allen) has to replace Santa Claus. I love Christmas spirit, by the way, but I've seen Santa-replacement-related movies so many times that it's driving me crazy!

The Incredible Hulk | REVIEW

"Hulk SMAAASH!" Or rather, "Hulk SMAAASH box-office!!!"

This movie's gonna' rake in a shipload of cash.

I managed to catch a screening of The Incredible Hulk today and if I had to make a one-word summary of it I'd say "Phenomenal!". The Incredible Hulk is a movie that I am going to watch again and again because it is pure non-stop adrenaline-pumping action from start to finish. Now here's the Hulk that we've all been waiting for! And yes..."I loved The Incredible Hulk so much more, a way lot more, awesomely more than Iron Man!" There, I said it. And for those of you who were skeptical about this flick before, I assure you that watching the movie will blow your skepticism away. The Incredible Hulk is a must-see and is by far the most action-packed blockbuster I've seen so far in 2008.

This isn't an origin story as it assumes everyone already knows about the Hulk's background. I'm just going to give you a brief, NON-SPOILER-ISH overview of the flick. It's the simple core story of the Hulk. Banner loves Betty, who is the General's daughter, but the General doesn't give a fu*k and wants to use the 'Hulk serum' as a weapon. To do that, he needs to catch Bruce Banner first. But there's a new threat to the big green beast, and it comes in the form of Emil Blonsky, a soldier so hellbent on fighting and taking challenges that he literally volunteers to become one of General Ross' 'super-soldier experiments'...turning him into a somewhat of a, well, Abomination. That's basically all you need to know. The rest, as they say, is history.

Don't degrade the movie by deeming it as a common actioner. It is action-packed but it also integrates good acting, a solid yet simple story, and excellent CGI work. Plus, you all know that a certain someone called Tony Stark may be making a cameo in the movie. Does he? Does he not? What does he do? When? Where? Aah, that's for you to wait and see.

When it comes to cameos, paying homage, and little hints of probable future plans, The Incredible Hulk does a fantastic job. It's just so much fun seeing little hints of comic lore and its other characters. You don't have to be a die-hard Hulk fan to understand the hints, though. Almost anyone who has ever seen the Hulk, be it from the old TV series or not, will understand most of these hints and cameos. There are, of course, some deeper ones for the ones who know more about the Marvel universe.

The best parts in The Incredible Hulk are obviously the extraordinary fight scenes. What you see on screen is not just random punching, kicking, tossing, and throwing; instead it's more of a flow which tells you that the Hulk knows why he's doing something. He's a giant ball of rage, but his madness has a method to it, is basically what it is. The battle scenes are so well scripted and extremely fast-paced that it will literally keep you at the edge of your seat. And unlike the Ang Lee version of the big behemoth, this Hulk actually portrays a sense of weight. He's uber-fast and very agile, but his weight is also taken into consideration. That's a cool thing because without the weight factor, the Hulk isn't really that big of a threat at all now, is he.

The truth is, films like X-Men: The Last Stand and Spider-Man 3 took away all hope I had on Marvel's films. Thanks to The Incredible Hulk, I can't wait for future flicks like Thor, Captain America, Iron Man 2, Wolverine, even The Punisher...and ultimately, The Avengers! It looks like Marvel Studios is a giant success. They now protect the integrity of their characters and their first two productions (Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk) are simply off the hook! Yes, I didn't enjoy Iron Man as much as I would have liked to, but I never said it wasn't a good movie. I enjoyed The Incredible Hulk so much that I can rate it as one of Marvel's top-3 movies. It is that good. It's fun, it's entertaining, it has a great story, nice actors, the CGI has been touched up since the trailers, and it gives fans of the mighty Hulk what they've always wanted from a Hulk movie. They can now recover from the trauma that was Ang Lee's Hulk and bask in sheer happiness after watching this reboot. No more suffering, Hulk fans, because Louis Leterrier is now officially your savior.
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Wrap : The Incredible Hulk gets a smashing 4.8 out of 5.0. I'd give it a perfect rating, but the only downside was the (in my opinion) short runtime. It's a near-two-hour film but it would have been so much cooler with a mere 20 minutes or so added to it. This is a movie you must see if you're into comics and sci-fi. Ed Norton does a fantastic job as Bruce Banner and Liv Tyler is right next to him. She's an awesome Betty Ross. There are just too many good things about this movie that I'm having a hard time putting all of it into this review. So go ahead and watch it already, because I'm off to book tickets online for my second screening of The Incredible Hulk!

P.S : You should really choose a cinema hall with well-maintained speakers for this one, folks, because when that green beast roars, he really ROARS...and it's just effin' awesome with good speakers all around.

Beowulf | REVIEW

"I am Ripper... Tearer... Slasher... Gouger. I am the Teeth in the Darkness, the Talons in the Night. Mine is Strength... and Lust... and Power! I AM BEOWULF!"

And so he is. He's Beowulf the ripper, tearer, slasher, and everything brutal put into one human being. Or is he? I was never really attracted to Beowulf by the trailers and teasers and epic-looking posters. To me it all seemed too 300-ish, as though these guys were banking off the success of 300. Still, I decided to watch Beowulf in the cinema just to see what it was all about and found out that there wasn't much that impressed me throughout the course of the film. I know it's cutting-edge animation and it has gained a large circle of fans, but to me Beowulf is all-talk and no action. And I don't mean the movie as a whole, but rather the character itself. Before I go on, you have to know a lil' about the story. No spoilers.

Beowulf (Ray Winstone), a warrior known the world over for his battle skills and impressive monster-slaying resume', is called upon by King Hrothgar (Anthony Hopkins) to rid their town of a horrid, bellowing beast known as Grendel. Little does Beowulf know that his task grows bigger when he also has to rid the town of Grendel's revenge-seeking mother (Angelina Jolie). Now seriously, she gave birth to that, you might wonder, but do not be deceived...that steamy-hot body covered in some gold stuff is only a mask that disguises an beast inside. You'd think that a horrid beast hiding in a woman's body would have NO sense of style, right? Wrong! That body-wrap gold skin thing actually goes all the way down to her ankles and forms...wait for it...high-heels! Talk about having an FHM subscription in a town like that a thousand years ago. So the question is...does Beowulf really slay her or do they get their freak on? As in does he slay her or does he slaaay her all night long? This is a whole new level of porn, people! Humans and monsters.

Although the animation is cutting-edge, it still hasn't reached a level of complete realistic-ness in terms of human facial expressions. The winking of the eyes is the most obvious animation flaw in this movie and it does a lot of damage. The winking is too robotic and too rigid(?). Certain scenes actually remind me of cut-scenes from older Playstation games. This is one major downside to Beowulf.

What I don't like about Beowulf is that in my opinion, he's not a hero at all. He's neither a real hero nor is he an anti-hero. Throughout the movie you'll find that Beowulf brags about his accomplishments and 'adds spice' to his tales of battles with dangerous monsters. But the truth is that he has the same weaknesses that any lay man would have, making it hard to accept him as the hero of this movie. I'm sure not all protagonists have to be uber-heroic, but Beowulf can be classified as an arrogant, brash, cocky warrior of sorts that has done little to earn his prestigious reputation. I may be a little harsh here, but I didn't actually give a f**k about Beowulf...at all. I didn't like the guy so the battle scenes in the movie never caught my attention because quite frankly, I didn't care what happened to Beowulf! Heroes in films have to back up what they say...and Beowulf doesn't do that. He just exaggerates.

There's also a lot of nudity in the film. It's like a 'Pixar Goes Wild' fest, although I know Pixar didn't have anything to do with this. For some reason Beowulf fights Grendel in the nude...I'm not sure how that helps but the man does it! Maybe it's the only time Ray Winstone would see his own body as a sexy chunk of meat instead of it being overweight and hairy. The wonders of technology, I tell ya'. Angelina Jolie practically bares all except for all the important parts, and so does Anthony Hopkins. Yes, Anthony 'I eat people coz I'm a cannibal' Hopkins is technically naked in Beowulf. Not in Beowulf but in the movie, Beowulf. For all those Hopkins stalkers out there, you just got handed your piece of pie. Go ahead, slide in the DVD, forward to that Hopkins' scene and grab a towel, you sick, twisted lil' things! I'm not sure why everyone loves to be naked in Beowulf but I've made my point...lots of 3D nude scenes.

The score in Beowulf is pretty solid. It's one of the very few things I liked about the movie. Alan Silvestri handles the soundtrack and it's really good, although it strongly reminds me of Van Helsing. The soundtrack helps the movie gain an 'epic-feel'.

I heard from people who watched Beowulf in 3D (an in The IMAX Experience), that the movie's greatness comes from said experience alone. The visuals via IMAX 3D are extraordinary and it probably works well that way. I guess the effects are diminished when screened in an ordinary cinema.
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Wrap : I give Beowulf a 3.2 out of 5.0. Being brutally honest, I didn't enjoy it at all. Yeah, the visuals were awesome and it's obvious that a lot of effort went into making this flick a reality, but the character of Beowulf himself didn't set well for me. Show me Leonidas any day and I'd say, "Now that's a hero". No prejudice whatsoever, but isn't that what a hero is? A person who actually shows intense bravery and endurance instead of merely boasting about his 'blown-up' achievements? Watch this for the mere experience of it. There's some pretty good 3D work and I'm sure all those future animators would use Beowulf as their benchmarks. It's a good benchmark, but not a great movie. Don't agree? Wanna' take it up with me? Come on, then! But I must warn you though...... I am author, blogger, reviewer, administrator. I am the owner of RandomFilmReviews. The player of Playstation consoles. The listener of hardrock music......I...am...POLARBOY!

School Of Rock | REVIEW

It's all about the metal, baby! Or in this case, it's all about the rock! Before I go on reviewing this gig, I want to say that my choice of music is metal, rock, and nothing more. Yes, I do get carried away by soundtracks to Lord Of The Rings, Batman Begins, Requiem For A Dream...but those aren't songs for daily listening. On a daily basis, it's always Killswitch or Atreyu or Airbourne or Wolfmother...so when I watch a movie like School Of Rock that has references to the greats like ACDC, Deep Purple, Motorhead, and The Who, I'm bound to have a good time. I'm not saying I don't like movies with hip-hop influences, but it's way easier to relate to something when you enjoy it on a daily basis. Like chocolate. We love chocolate. So when Willy Wonka takes Charlie and the kids to the chocolate factory, we're burning with envy because we, too, want to wallow and bathe in gallons of free chocolate. I wish Cadbury had their own Willy Wonka. *Sigh*. Anyhow.....

Here's what you need to know about the story. Jack Black plays Dewey Finn, a guy who gets kicked out of his band, doesn't have a job, and needs to pay his friend Ned, a substitute teacher, rent money. One day Ned's not at home, Dewey picks up the phone and opportunity strikes when he learns that Ned is offered a temp job at a local school. Dewey takes the job pretending to be Ned, and soon learns that the kids in his class are all really good at musical instruments, leaving him to wonder if they could be his new band at the Battle Of The Bands. Problem? The school is the most highly-respected school in the district and nothing is as easy-going as it seems. Can Dewey teach the kids who know nothing about being rebellious how to rock it? That's basically where the story takes off.

This movie is so much fun. Again, this may be a bit personal and self-centered, but I enjoyed the movie a whole lot more because it had references to the music I like and these kids were learning how to be 'rockers' so to speak, from the rugged style and the insane on-stage performances to handling a guitar like effin' Slash. So yes, I enjoyed the movie a lot. BUT, that doesn't mean those who don't like the genre won't like the flick. It's basically a casual, light-hearted movie that has a simple plot, simple conflicts, and simple values at the end. It's nowhere near Tenacious D & The Pick Of Destiny in terms of language, vulgar references, and random comedy. No, this movie is safe to watch around traditional people who will go insane at the first sight of a naked woman on screen. It's safe to watch around people who will blow their tops at the sound of "F*ck!". What I'm trying to say is it's meant for everyone.

Jack Black is simply Jack Black in School of Rock. He's intact with the crazy jumping around and fiddling of the lips and bizarre facial expressions. He's just being himself and that's not a bad thing at all. The movie basically 'justifies' rock as a musical genre and says that it's not as bad as people think it is. People don't have to pierce their nipples or tattoo their asses or act like jerks just to be rockers. It's all about the music, is what it is.

The kids in School Of Rock are all real musical prodigies, including the vocalists, which is awesome! I didn't know this watching the movie, and remember thinking to myself, "These kids aren't very good actors." I know now that they aren't really actors to begin with, and were picked because they were extremely good at their instruments. This fact really impressed me because here's a movie that is not only entertaining, but is also very real when it comes to the talents these kids possess. When you see a 10 year old handle a guitar with so much ease in School Of Rock, it's because he's really good at it...it's not an act.

Sarah Silverman isn't funny at all in this movie; I'm not even sure why they put her in that role. It could have been anyone else since the only thing she does in the film itself is nag and whine and be somewhat of a b*tch. Still, she is Sarah Silverman and it's nice to see the bickering she has with Jack Black every once in a while. She's a nice addition to an already impressive movie.
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Wrap : I give School Of Rock a solid 4.0 out of 5.0. Again, it's not because I'm a fan of the rock genre, instead it's because I enjoyed the movie and I'm sure those who've never favored Rock will have fun watching School Of Rock, too. It's a simple film that everyone will understand because it portrays very basic values. The theme of the movie is good, the arc is well done, and it's a movie that can be watched a number of times. Plus, it's not the funniest comedic movie in town, but it's funny enough to keep you giggling all the way. Pick this up, people, it's all worth it!

P.S : If you do get into the Rock genre after watching this and need names of some pretty sweet bands, contact me and I'll gladly name you a few. Killswitch, baby....effin' Killswitch!